Wedding Ring Etiquette

It was very thoughtful of your boyfriend to want to include you in the selection process. And it was very nice of him to ask your opinion. Where he went drastically wrong was to proceed with the purchase in your presence. What was actually a shopping trip should have been a browsing trip. While browsing, he should have asked a series of questions; “Honey, what do you think of this one?” “What about this setting?” and “Sweetie, will you try this one?” Then, the browsing trip should have concluded with a lovely and romantic lunch. At some later point in time, your fiancé should have returned to purchase a stone and setting that is both to your liking as well as in his price range. Once the ring was purchased, it should be given along with a life-long promise of love. You asked how this should have been handled, which I have answered. What you did not ask was where to go from here. My suggestion is to talk to your fiancé about the bigger issue. No, not the stone, the fact that you are feeling like your opinion does not matter. Clear the air, keep the ring and enjoy planning your lives together.

W edding Announcement Etiquette

There is a wonderful old convention known as an “At Home” card . This card is included in the wedding announcement, or may be included in the wedding invitation. The At Home card includes both of your names, your address, your phone number, and when you expect to return from your honeymoon. You can learn more about the proper wording for your names as well as the ordering of At Home cards where you purchase your invitations or click here for sample At Home Card wording.

Wedding Gift Etiquette

As with any present, gifts for your parents are a lovely tradition, but not an obligation. If you are so inclined, I would strongly encourage you to do so. Whether it be as a thank you for hosting the wedding or a thank you for doing such a wonderful job raising you, a thoughtful gift is always a welcome gesture. The present may range from something small, such as a framed picture from the wedding, to something grandiose, such as fine jewelry. 

Wedding Reception Etiquette: Who Pays?

It warms my heart to have such a thoughtful couple write. There are many aspects of the wedding celebration which your fiancé’s parents could host. Traditionally, the groom’s parents host the rehearsal dinner. With careful planning of the menu and the guest list, this dinner could be well within your future in-law’s means. Other ideas would be to have them host a hospitality suite at the hotel where most of the guests are staying. Or, they could host a good-bye brunch the day after the wedding. Once you and your fiancé discuss some of these possibilities, you can then approach his parents.

Very Special Wedding Vows

Well, actually, you have a number of choices. The first is not to exchange any personal vows. But this would fall short of your ideal wedding. The second would be to insist your future husband also exchange vows at the altar. But this may cause him undue stress and anxiety during the wedding. The third would be for you, quietly to turn to him and softly whisper your vows to him while he gazed into your eyes. This would allow you to say what is in your heart, without putting your fiancé on the spot. And since you are speaking softly, you guests will never know who said what. The most important thing is for both you and your future husband to feel comfortable with the ceremony you two have planned. (Be sure to let the officiant know what vows you are planning so they can include a time for vows during the ceremony.)

Wedding Reception Etiquette: Toasts vs. Drinking

Actually, you are both incorrect. When someone makes a toast in your honor, you should look at him or her, nod appreciatively, and thank him or her when they are through. You should not hold, nor drink from your glass. Doing so would suggest that you concur with the praise they are bestowing on you. Though you are the guests of honor, it is better to remain humble. 

When to Leave the Wedding Reception

According to the old etiquette books, the bride and groom may leave the reception after the cutting of the cake. This is considered perfectly acceptable. However, as you have noticed, nowadays wedding festivities have extended beyond the actual wedding. With friends and family traveling from near and far to attend weddings, more time is being spent enjoying each other’s company. So, while you can exit after the cake, if your guests have gone to great effort and expense to attend an event in your honor, you may want to consider waiting until the next day before leaving on your honeymoon. 

Advice for Planning a Perfect Wedding

My advice to you is easy and it is free. You want to set the right tone for your wedding. The music, the food, and the seating can all help, but there is one thing that always sets the right mood. After you and your fiancé kiss and you turn to walk back down the aisle, look at each other, smile and then smile the whole way down the aisle. The guests will take their cue from you. If you and your groom are so happy you are beaming, the guest will be happy and ready to help you celebrate. Believe it or not, this makes the difference between on OK wedding and a great wedding.