You’re getting married, you’re promising to spend the rest of your life with someone and you’re doing it all in front of an audience. Of course you’re nervous, and you know what? It’s totally normal, says Jeremy Kisch, Ph.D., psychologist and senior director for Clinical Education at the National Mental Health Association. The key to getting through your big day is to concentrate on relaxing.

Kisch suggests relaxation techniques, such as this breathing exercise: Close your eyes, take a deep breath, exhale slowly and count backwards in your mind from 10. Focus on your breathing, and try to think about something calming, such as your fiancé’s smile or the beach where you’ll be honeymooning.

If you’re still feeling jittery, don’t be afraid to talk to your primary care physician, who may suggest counseling or, possibly, medication. If it’s the latter, ”you shouldn’t feel ashamed,” adds Kisch. If you do end up taking a little something to calm you down on the big day, be sure to limit your drinking at the wedding, because tranquilizers and alcohol combined can knock you out.